The last few days I've been Re-working Chapter 1 of my novel thanks to one of my test readers, Gabe Kelley (an old college roommate). He gave me huge props for what he's read thus far, but found a few holes in the story that he thought I should fix/add more detail. I also wanted to thank my other test reader for the influence they've had on my story. I have the ability to come up with great stories, but many times leave out some details. Thanks first of all, my wife Chelsie, Shalease Boarden, Amy Wilde, Courtney Lennberg, Clint Larsen, Jeff Morgan and all the rest of you. There has been many and I can't possibly name you all but I appreciate you more than you know. Anyway, the new and improved Chapter 1 is written below. I'd love to hear what you think and I'd love it even more if you'd follow my novel on facebook at
https://www.facebook.com/TheEnraged2013
1. NEARLY DEAD
Rushing
water filled her mouth, and splashed into her eyes as she pushed away - slithering
out from beneath a monstrous, water-logged corpse. As she stood up, her
white tank top suctioned to her ribs exposing her cheetah-like features. Normally her lithe, athletic physique earned
her a second glance from men and jealous stares from women. It was hard for many to believe that she was
the mother of three.
Shay coughed
water from her lungs and blinked the water from her eyes as she glanced at the
throbbing wound on her shoulder. The
blood was flowing freely from the distinctly human bite mark which added a
thick crimson streak to her already stained white tank top.
The venom from the bite
burned her skin like acid and the flesh immediately around the wound
blackened. She could feel the venoms
assault as it began coursing through her blood stream like starved piranhas.
As bad as the wound
was, she couldn’t allow herself to worry about it until she was out of
immediate danger. She saw motion from the corner of her eye and turned to see a
second beast shuffling through the ankle deep water toward her. He looked putrid as blackened skin peeled
from his once human face exposing raw, bloodied muscle and ghost white bone
beneath. Shay was exhausted and the
temptation to dispatch this new threat with her pistol was nearly
overwhelming. But she knew that if she
pulled the trigger, she’d be surrounded by hundreds of enraged, flesh-eating monsters
again.
Goosebumps rose on her
exposed skin and her heart pounded as the vile man rushed toward her. The
saliva dripped from his rotting teeth as he opened his mouth open wide in
anticipation. Fueled by unimaginable
rage and hunger, the creature wanted to eat her alive. Shay flipped the
pistol around so the barrel rested in her palm.
As the monster approached, she could only see darkness and death in his
eyes––it was clear his soul had long since left his body. Shay raised the
pistol over her shoulder and swung across her body, meeting the beast’s final
desperate lunge head on. The impact shattered the teeth from his jaw and
they flew through the air in a bloody eruption. The creature went down
hard, but managed to grab her shirt as he fell, pulling her into the stream on
top of him. Shay straddled his torso and
without hesitation, placed her right hand on his throat, digging her nails in
to keep her hand from slipping off of his slimy flesh and constraining him
against the pebbled creek bed. The decaying man grabbed at her as she repeatedly
hit him in the head with the gun’s handle.
Blood spattered her face and arms as his skull caved in. The
decaying man stopped moving and she knew he would never bite again.
Covered in gore, Shay
squared her shoulders and steeled herself for the next threat. She raked the shimmering strands of half
brown, half bleach blond hair from her face with chipped and grime crusted
fingernails noting how long overdue she was for a trip to the salon. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time
at the ridiculousness of the stray thought, but her emotions gave way to white
hot anger as she contemplated the injustice of all she had lost in just a few
short months.
